22 August 2006

summer winding down...

CPE is over, which is both good and bad. I wish it weren't, but by the end, it was hard to feel connected when the work turned toward preparing a place for incoming residents and interns. Our seminars were completed 10 days before our last day, our evaluation was written and filed the Monday of our last week, so we spent 5-7 days saying goodbye to our units, when I only needed 4 hours to do that.. so the rest of the week was pretty boring.

Sad, because I had a fantastic time, and I have to wait until next summer to do it again..

But either way, CPE is completed.

Weird: in 12 days I will be married. This is also a very good, happy thing. But it is strange to realize that it is, in fact, actually happening. It's not an amorphous future event. It's real. 12 days is nothing. In 3 days, Steve will be here. In 7 days, we'll have a marriage license. Then we go into full swing, with people coming into town, friends and family to see again, rehearsals, etc.

It's wonderful.. and a little weird. I wish I could say that baptism and confirmation were as awe-inspiring, since they also mark shifts of great magnitude. But, I guess they mark internal shifts. This is both internal and something that will be reflected back to us by our community and culture. (No one was particularly concerned with my confirmation. But I gather that people notice when you leave for the summer unmarried and come back with a husband, even if they knew it would happen.) Perhaps ordination is like this, because it somehow alters your external identity, your title in society. The shift from being Miss. to Mrs. might be something like the shift from (insert here) to Rev. with a dog collar and all manner of cultural baggage.

I wonder. In any case, even though I've long ago decided that I am taking Steve's last name as my own, even though we've been together for 4.5 years, engaged for 18 months, and living functionally and financially as a married couple for over a year, something strange will happen in 12 days, in how we are connected both internally and in the eyes of people around us.